You are special. I choose to move to you for University. I must admit that at first, you scared the s**t out of a young, naive but excitable girl like me. Eventually, you convinced me to come around to your psycho ways.
I’ve been fortunate, I’ve waddled around the bigger cities like Sydney, New York and Bangkok. All came with incredible experiences. But I’m proud to call you home.
You become a Londoner when:
1. Uber is your new best friend and part-time therapist when you’re drunk. Poor Uber driver will sit through your daddy issues, why you’re emotionally unavailable and your entire life story. By the way, because I live in London and need to eat, please find my (cheeky self-promotion) code: lkr7e for £10 off your first ride. 2. You’re automatically suspicious of anyone who can afford to own a house.
2. You know which carriage to get on the tube so that you arrive precisely at the exit. You also know which ‘No entry’ signs provide a cheeky short cut.
3. And once you get on, you avoid all eye contact, and the thought of someone talking is an all-consuming terror. Except when you fall in love on the tube, look I know it’s not ideal to talk to them in front of everyone, but can someone come up with a solution to this?!
4. You feel like a powerful and fearless super human once you have witnessed your first drama on a night bus and it doesn’t really bother you anymore.
5. At least one fast-food place knows you by name when you show up after a night out. It’s either a kebab shop or Chicken Cottage.
6. London will make you feel the most tired you’ve ever been, even if you’ve just been shopping at Oxford Circus.
7. You realise you’ve become passive aggressive on public transport. A game of elbow wars is totally appropriate behaviour.
8. Thursdays are the new Fridays.
9. No matter where you’re from, London is so big; you’ll always find people who remind you of home.
10. Your old pals will be in envious of your Instagrams. Hashtag ‘LondonLiving’.
You tell yourself that you’ll leave after five years to live a ‘quieter life’, yet in reality, you never leave.
London has it’s your perks and downsides. Career prospects are attractive, but the nine-to-five doesn’t exist. You’ll tell yourself that you’ll go to that event at Southbank or that pop-up shop and hipster cafe. Then you realise that you live in Zone 3+ (for affordable rent) so you forget it.
I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Except for the property-price s**tstorm thing, you have going on.
Love you lots,
PS: If you live in London, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Photographer: Constance Doyle