Growing up, I used to care about what people thought about me. Today, I don’t give a sh*t. And I can’t tell you how liberating it feels.
And no, this isn’t a post on how to be a total douchebag with no feelings. It’s about letting go of trivial things like feeling embarrassed about buying sanitary towels or caring about how people think we look.
This post is in collaboration with Shein, the destination for the SASSIEST fashion at INSANE prices (seriously check them). Yes, they’re from China, but I do not collaborate with brands that I do not believe in. I’m aware that there are some dodgy international sites whereby they send you a cheap piece of material; I checked these guys for the quality of clothing and for the price, it’s decent. Tip: do check the reviews underneath each product for fit! For 13% off use my code:
When we care about what everyone thinks, we give our control and emphasis to other people, and then we end up feeling entitled to feel comfortable at all times, which isn’t ideal because life isn’t all roses 24/7. Reserve your cares for what matters. Only take actions if you want to, not because someone else wants you to.
I wish someone told me earlier that the only way to achieve your goals is to become comfortable with rejection. I know how much it sucks when you want something so much and not end up getting it. But, you know what? I’ve always ended up with something better later, and I genuinely believe that’s your life-path steering you. Those who are confident in business are successful because they’re content with failure. Have you noticed that the people who don’t care about failure or embarrassing themselves are the ones who seem to get more opportunities? That’s because they are the ones who take more risks. They know what’s more important than their pride. I’ll leave you with this quote, ‘you lose 100% of the chances you don’t take’.
Know your worth
Self-worth is a topic that I write about a lot. Having good relationships with people starts with having a healthy relationship with yourself. If you know your worth, you won’t care about how people perceive you. I wrote about my journey to confidence here.
No matter how fabulous your life is, you’re always going to encounter struggle, but it’s how you react that makes the difference.
A brave statement from an old colleague. They proceeded to tell me that they ‘work’, whereas I, ‘just blog.’ Coincidently, I’ve heard a lot of this ‘get a real job’ malarky recently.
Okay, so, from the face of it, it probably looks like: I wake up when I want, lounge in my pants, take pictures of myself, fly to endless holidays and then write an article whenever it takes my fancy. I report to no one but myself, and I’m probably vain, loving myself too much as I took it upon myself to choose this path.
To be transparent with you, growing up, I never aspired to become a ‘social media person.’. I grew up in traditional Asian culture; which means that unless you want to be ostracised, your career options are restricted to medicine, law or finance. Blogging has become a commercially viable business, and I have fallen head over heels in love with my uplifting little community. I wake up every morning doing what I love, so isn’t my choice a no-brainer?
This post is dedicated to my fellow bloggers, who I wholeheartedly support.
Many successful bloggers were in senior roles before blogging
I was in a so-called ‘real job’ in Digital Marketing for five years before taking the plunge to start my own business. To blow my own trumpet, by the age of 22, I was managing eleven clients. By the age of 26, I managed multi-million pound budgets. At present, I’m so fortunate to be able to do this three months a year, part-time, as a consultant. Stating on her Instagram that that blogging ‘fulfils her even more’, Pilot Madeleine trained as a pilot but couldn’t find a job so her ridiculously dreamy travel blog was born. Margaret Zhang juggled blogging with her law degree before becoming one of the most successful Australian style bloggers today. British babe InTheFrow studied for her PhD and was a university lecturer before becoming one of the top lifestyle YouTubers. I met Cyran, from Corporate Style Story, who is a lawyer by day and a blogging bad-ass with the wardrobe to match. She’s smart, so lovely & I’m always so thrilled to meet powerful women who are passionate about what they do. Karla Itsines and The Body Coach were personal trainers, and now they’re worth millions, thanks to their fitness apps & snappy viral videos.
Freelancing is very time-consuming.
Want to see my average day when I’m not in my consultant job?
Here’s an example of a loose chicken running around:
8-9am: eat breakfast (usually tea, orange juice, scrambled egg sandwich or avocado toast or crumpets). Open PR mail. Answer flagged emails. Check Twitter.
10am: Print & pack for eBay (usually 10+ parcels depending on trade). Leave for Post Office once complete.
10-11am: Respond to Instagram comments on the bus/tube (usually 30+ I try & respond to everyone).
11:30am: Arrive at the coffee shop. Answer brand collab emails, write up & send invoices, update my calendar & continue current blog post.
2pm: Eat lunch (usually burrito, pasta or Pho but I don’t discriminate, I love all food).
3pm: If I have a Model casting, leave for central London, otherwise, I stay in the coffee shop.
4pm: Leave an hour slot open for a phone call with a PR agency, Model Agency, pitch or brand.
6pm: Coffee Shop kicks me out or I leave my audition.
7.15pm: Cheerleading, Barre, Yoga or Gym (I become so stressed without at least one fitness related session a week).
9.15pm: Grab dinner & head home.
10.30pm: Eat dinner & edit images, rehearse lines for any commercial auditions or watch TV.
A modelling job or press event can take a full or half day and throws this schedule off.
You don’t just wake up and make money from a business
Blogging has the reputation that it’s easy because you don’t have to go through a lengthy interview process to become a blogger; everyone can start a blog. In reality, these are the skills you need to form a successful, profit-making blog:
– Writing – Website Management – HTML – Photography – Photoshop – Design – Innovation – Sales Negotiation – Marketing – Social Media – Research – Data Analysis – SEO – Networking – Budget Management
I didn’t make any money during my first two years; this is the standard. I had to purchase, set-up and manage my domain, find a cracking web-template, liaise with clients & PR agencies and look after my lovely followers. Regardless of whether it’s working from home, in an office or opening a physical store, there is no way that you can create a successful business if you don’t graft. This applies to ALL businesses. The majority of blogs don’t make any income because it takes so long to earn a penny. If you want to be taken seriously and make a full-time salary from blogging, you have to work damn hard.
Bloggers pay taxes & Influencers have made millions
Blogging is a self-employed job. Self-Assesment tax returns are a tedious and lengthy process. As Bloggers can earn a decent salary, it makes sense that the government has made it mandatory to make us pay tax on it. It’s isn’t impossible to make millions from a blog. I mean, if you could quit your ‘real job’ with an average salary to become financially comfortable, you just would, wouldn’t you?!
Change is happening
I genuinely think that there are many inspirational blogs out there who don’t get the credit that they deserve.
The comments I’ve seen are that we’re living in a generation of narcissistic, entitled, ego-centric & social-media-addicted youths. While that may be true of some people, you cannot paint everyone with the same brush.
There will be so many people who have the potential to be doing what they love but instead, are working in a job that they hate because society tells us that we should be working for a corporation. Let’s face facts here; print is dying & digital is on the up (this is why big advertisers have budgets dedicated to influencers), sadly, not everyone has decided to accept this change, so the insecure online trolls criticise people who are making money out of non-traditional careers.
Not everyone is suited to this lifestyle because there’s no stability. You have to be smart.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Are you creative and your friends keep dismissing your job? I want to hear from you.
P.S these images are from an old shoot whereby I didn’t have a relevant blog post, but I felt this set was well suited. I love the vintage imagery, don’t you agree?
Autumn is wonderful at the moment. Crisp, delicate and golden, this post is decorated with bursts of yellow, orange, brown & pink. In collaboration with the festive TP team, I’m wearing my Tresor Paris Crystal Bangle. Crafted in sterling silver and pave-set with white crystals (I’m allergic to cosmetic metal, I love this brand because they have allergy-free titanium), screw-fix bar bracelets are great because you can express yourself with personalised charms. If you’re based in London, visit them in Farringdon or you can shop online here.
Snuggle up in your thickest blanket, sit by the fire (or a candle), with a mug of something steamy; we’re about to walk through fear.
Fears. I have them; you have them. At any point in our life, we’ll experience debilitating fears. Big & small.
Fear isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They alert us, prime us to run away and help us avoid getting hurt. But how do we stop them from holding us back from doing the things that we unquestionably want to do?
I’ve heard the all of the advice to dive in, head first. While that’s commendable, it isn’t sustainable long-term. Break down your fear into manageable pieces.
Do what you feel you are capable of doing right now if you had to and work your way up from there.
People struggle to overcome their fears because they believe they are not good enough. As a result, they will give themselves avoidance techniques to avoid the task at hand. But, don’t worry, you are not a lost cause. Being aware of your own methods of procrastination is very powerful.
Think of all of the explanations you give yourself for not doing what you’re anxious about. What can you do to overcome them? Write it down.
Everything is about perspective. If you have a fear of what people think about you, chances are, people don’t think about you to the extent that you’re feeling.
The key to is to change our perception of our ability to perform the task. The difference between someone who is a great public speaker and someone who is awful is that the good one believes that they will succeed whereas the person who gets nervous and stifles feels they are not. Believe that you can conquer your fear. Have faith in yourself.
Everyone is different but think of ways on how you can rewire your brain to adopt a different perspective. E.g., for a public speaking fear, instead of thinking ‘everyone will think I’m an idiot in this speech,’ think about how you’re just having a conversation with everyone in the room.
I’ve had two serious, big fears, which are why I used them as examples in this post. The first was during my teenage years which was a fear of people not liking me. After school, I would go home and ruminate about it, over & over. Then growing up, public speaking became my enemy. Both fears were detrimental to my studies & career. At present, I don’t give a sh*t if people like me, and I no longer suffer from attacks before presentations. (I still get nervous, but I can do them without wanting the ground to swallow me up).
2018 should be the year of conquering fears. They are incredibly difficult but overcoming them will make you stronger than ever. You deserve success, to go and get what you want and not let anything stop you.
The antique cupboard at my parent’s house had a distinctive smell. I occasionally catch a whiff, and the lost memories that I thought I’d forgotten, reappear. We truly underestimate the power of scent.
Clive Christian resurrects the lost language of floral symbolism, boasting scents whose associations can be used to convey emotions, from love, gratitude, and admiration to sorrow and condolence. In collaboration with the luxury interiors and British perfume brand that is stocked at Net-a-Porter, I’m here to capture your fondest memories by sharing the secrets of those who are always remembered, for having a distinctive scent.
Favour powerful scents
Clive Christian perfumes are uniquely complex and expertly crafted with the rarest ingredients. Not all scents are created equal. Citrusy fragrances tend to dissipate quickly, whereas spicy and woodsy ones with notes like sandalwood tend to linger for a while. Inspired by the majesty and natural beauty of the Scottish wilderness – the scent for him opens with intense top notes of sensual woody leather, oudh, and amber. With notes of cedarwood representing dark mahogany marquetry, this one for her is housed in a decorative gold bottle that will look so chic on display on your dressing table. I know that these crowned beauties aren’t modest, but if longevity is your top concern, these fragrances are an investment. Nobody wants to be that person who sprays their perfume twelve times to make it stick.
Know where and when to apply
Avoid spraying on jewellery. Go beyond your wrists and consider warmer areas of your body like the chest & stomach, as well as behind the knees. The best time to spritz is after a shower. While your skin is still slightly damp, the extra moisture helps to lock that scent.
Hydrate your skin
Drink lots of water and moisturise your skin. Dry skin tends to absorb and fade the product. Hydrated skin gives the fragrance something to adhere to, so it lasts longer.
And never rub it in
Resist the burning desire of rubbing your wrists together after application. Rubbing breaks down the formula, and this results in less wear.
Layer your fragrances
From oils, scrubs to body lotions; your favourite scents hold different notes. By wearing a few of them together, you build layers of fragrance that form your signature scent which sticks around throughout your day.
The worst places to store your perfumes are window sill (sunlight) & bathroom (hot steam) Exposure to heat and humidity breaks down the molecules in your fragrance. Keep them in cool and dry places — like your dresser or vanity storage.
For any events that fall outside of your daily routine (like when you’re going on holiday), don’t forget to pack a travel-size set in your bag for a refresh. That way, you’ll always remember your vacation each time you catch a whiff of the scent.
Different notes contained in each of Clive Christian’s distinctive fragrances act as a subtle form of expression. If you’ve never purchased an indulgent, pure perfume before, make this one your first. I would recommend starting off with this for her and this for him.
Which scents remind you of a life-changing chapter in your life? If you could bottle a memory, what would it be?